5 Tips to Reduce Anxiety During Pregnancy After Loss
March: Pregnancy After Loss Awareness Month
March is recognized as Pregnancy After Loss (“PAL”) Awareness month because it is the beginning of Spring. Spring is the season that represents fresh blooms and new production cycles. In this season, flowers begin to bloom and birds, bees, and spring critters resurface now that the colder months have passed. It is associated with freshness and newness as people begin to “spring clean” and clear space for new opportunities. It is a special season for me because it is when I found out that I was pregnant again after previously miscarrying. As a mother who has experienced recurrent loss through miscarriage, I know from experience the strength and courage that is needed to continue trying for a rainbow baby.
I’ll be honest, being pregnant again after miscarriage or loss can be scary and filled with anxiety. I learned that I miscarried my first pregnancy at the 12 week mark and I was crushed. When I saw my positive pregnancy test, I never considered that I would miscarry. I also didn’t realize how much anxiety would linger into my next pregnancy due to the loss. After a year of trying, I finally got pregnant again. Although I was elated to be pregnant, I was very worried that something could go wrong. 40 weeks feels like a long time to carry a child when you know that at any given week, you could possibly miscarry.
Pregnancy After Loss Anxiety
The possibility of miscarriage caused anxiety that kept me up at night with rushing thoughts. I couldn’t determine if I was experiencing pregnancy or anxiety symptoms during my first trimester. My first trimester symptoms were insomnia, lightheadedness, sweaty palms, and nausea; so anxiety seemed to be getting the best of me. I heard my baby’s heartbeat at the 8 week scan. My doctor assured me that everything looked good. But in my head, I needed to make it past the 12 week mark before I could feel comfortable. I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy and not allow anxiety and overthinking to steal my joy. So I began to pray for peace and trusted that God would allow me to carry this child in my arms. Then, I intentionally practiced the 5 tips below and soon the joy and peace began to overflow.
How did I reduce my anxiety during my pregnancy after loss?
1. Meditation
Meditation helps to clear your mental space by focusing your mind on the present moment. I have never been a person to stop and focus on breathing and quieting my thoughts. I’m a city girl and everything in my world moves fast. A preview of my day includes, morning cardio, a quick breakfast, work, cook, clean, go out with friends, or read a book/watch a tv show for my downtime. I didn’t realize that by moving all day, my mind was having a field day with thoughts and never had a chance to be still.
When I began meditating, it felt like a hard thing to do because I couldn’t stop thoughts from popping into my mind. If a negative thought came, then I would chase it away with a positive thought, but the result was the same, as my mind was still racing. As I meditated more, I was really able to create a peaceful environment where I could quiet my thoughts, focus on my breathing, feel my weight pressed against the floor, hear my heartbeat and, connect with my body. I was able to appreciate the present moment and realize that I was living an answered prayer because I was still pregnant and still carrying my baby. By silencing my mind and connecting with my body in the present moment, I became more peaceful and relaxed in trusting my body and embryo to thrive together. Here is a link to an article for those who are beginners to meditation https://www.marthastewart.com/7795633/beginners-guide-to-meditation.
2. Exercise
Many people think that you should sit down once you become pregnant, as if standing will cause a miscarriage. Unless your doctor has advised bed rest, sitting won’t cause or prevent pregnancy loss. I can admit, I calmed my cardio down and opted for light jogging and strength training as my go-to workouts. But, the truth about exercise is that it creates endorphins. Endorphins are chemicals produced in the brain that relieves stress and pain (basically they’re kind of like natural painkillers). They interact with opiate receptors in the body, which then minimizes our pain experience and makes us feel good. Working out doesn’t have to be hard core. A simple walk or bringing in the groceries can help the body to feel good and become stronger. Click this article to learn more about how exercise improves your mental health https://www.cheneyclinic.com/endorphins-and-exercise/.
3. Affirmations
Many people think that affirmations are pointless, but for me, they are motivational and help me to remain positive. It is easy to be consumed with negative thoughts and expect the worst will happen when being pregnant after loss; after all, the worst has happened before. Affirmations help to fight anxiety that is created by negative thoughts. Anxiety is the act of stressing over what can go wrong. Affirmations are there to combat those thoughts as you go about your day.
I remember telling myself “God will not withhold good things from me. And my child is a good and perfect gift from God”. I also wrote out the following scripture and taped it to my bathroom mirror; Psalms 113:9, “He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord!”. I told myself everyday that I would carry my child full term, have a healthy delivery, and a healthy child. Speaking this out loud helped to drown out the sound of my thoughts and make me think positive. I said these affirmations daily until I believed it in my heart. By the second trimester, my anxiety was gone and I was enjoying my pregnancy. Click here to download my 5 affirmations for Pregnancy After Loss https://mailchi.mp/02775ea27738/miscarriage-gifts-healing-recovery-5-affirmations-of-hope-when-trying-to-get-pregnant .
4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Miscarriages create a lonely and empty feeling for women. I was comforted by my spouse, parents, siblings, and friends during my loss, but my pain was still great. I was overjoyed to learn that I was pregnant again, but at the same time, I was scared. My support group knew what I had been through and were ecstatic for me. My anxiety about experiencing another loss was non-existent in the presence of my support system because their energy and actions were so positive. While with them, I only focused on great outcomes for this pregnancy so negative thoughts didn’t have a chance to creep into my mind. My support system not only helped me to keep a positive mindset, but they helped me to create joyful memories and enjoy my pregnancy beyond what I expected. It’s ok to allow others to help you through hard times. I encourage you to be around people who are excited for you and will overwhelm you with “best case” scenarios.
5. Prepare for your Baby
This one may be hard for many, but it is a natural part of the pregnancy experience. For mothers carrying a rainbow baby, seeing a physical item for your baby makes the experience even more real. I began to buy items for my child during my third trimester and prepared for her to come home, despite the fact that this was a pregnancy after loss. I created space in my home and envisioned myself taking care of my baby. I made the mental shift to become a mother who had physically present children, as I purchased baby items, and joyfully awaited my delivery.
Meditating, exercising, speaking affirmation, surrounding myself with supportive people, and preparing space for my baby helped me to alleviate the anxiety that stressed me during my pregnancy after loss. My affirmations came true as I had a safe delivery and a healthy rainbow baby. Miscarriages are painful and pregnancy loss can cause lingering anxiety, but the tips above can help to reduce the anxiety that it brings. It takes work to overcome anxiety, but it is worth it to have a joyful pregnancy filled with happy memories. My prayer is that you are able to honor the baby in your heart, but still celebrate the baby in your belly.